If you’ve ever heard about Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy and thought, “That sounds terrifying,” you’re not alone. Many of my clients say the same thing, and honestly, they’re right. ERP can be uncomfortable. The process asks you to face your fears, sit with uncertainty, and accept that you may never have the “100% correct answer” your OCD is demanding.
Here’s the thing: I’m a believer in what I call Choosing Your Hard.
Is therapy hard? Sure. Is ERP scary? Absolutely. But so is living with OCD.
When OCD runs the show, every decision becomes an opportunity for it to stay relevant and keep itself alive inside you. The fact of the matter is, OCD doesn’t want to go away. And it can be as stubborn as your partner insisting that they “don’t care” what’s for dinner. It can also be mean, rude, vile, and downright an asshole, all while making you believe it's protecting you. So, I want you to think about your options when you’re confronted with those unrelenting intrusive thoughts about harming your family, being attracted to your family member, or wondering if you’re in the “right” relationship, you still get to choose your hard.
And really, there are only two options.
Option 1: Face the Fear (With Support)
Take small, manageable steps to confront what fuels your OCD cycle. Do it with guidance, structure, and someone in your corner who will celebrate every victory, no matter how small you think it is.
Option 2: Let OCD Stay in Control
Keep allowing OCD to dictate your thoughts, behaviors, and values. Keep trying to stop those intrusive thoughts, even though they always find their way back. Keep washing, checking, or seeking reassurance, letting OCD call the shots about what kind of life you are allowed to live.
You can keep living the way OCD wants you to live. Or you can start living the way you want to live, guided by your values, your passions, and your choices.
Do you see the distinction?
If you’re unsure, think about what OCD has taken from you — the opportunities, the freedom, the joy. Without OCD making your decisions, would you have:
- Taken that job perfectionism told you that you weren’t good enough for?
- Started a family even though OCD said you couldn’t be trusted around children?
- Gone on that vacation OCD told you was “too risky”?
The benefit almost always outweighs the hard.
So, I’ll ask you this:
Are you ready to choose your hard?